Do NOT tell me dogs have clean mouths, Mine just ate his own poop

I am so fucking disgusted by my dog, Elvis. DUDE, you have eaten your poop every day for the past three days!!! AGH! I can't even be fast enough to keep him from doing it. well, then he smells like shit, his farts smell like double shit, and his shit smells like triple shit. WTF, you nasty thing!? If he wasn't so damn cute, I would totally tie him up out there the entire day while the sun was still shining (I mean, hey, he likes it anyway). I thought, maybe he is doing it because he is hungry. Probably not. He does it right after he eats. Maybe he is ashamed. Probably so. I am unable to take him for walks when nature calls because of the girls, so I stick him out back on the deck when I am busy, like making lunch or dinner, or putting a girl to a nap... whatever. It sucks, but I have to figure it out. He sure as hell is NOT going to stop eating his poop. The upside is that my dog recycles. hahaha haha ha. oh. my. freakin. lord. Oh, and he has basically stopped going inside, #1 and #2. I am picking up on his signals. Puppies are cute, but they are also the spawn of satan. I would rather be covered in baby shit, and be puked on ten times on my head, than have to deal with dog shit closer than a couple feet. (Love poop scoops) Ah, when life gives us lemons, make lemonade, and yell at the fucking dog.